Creating your own container
Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been exploring how our longing is our entry point to communing with the divine. Last week we discussed how directing our longing with intention creates powerful momentum for transformation, and one way of infusing our life with this is by honoring threshold moments.
How did your threshold inventory go? What are you noticing about these opportunities for transformation? How are you being with them?
This week I want to offer you a loose structure for honoring these portals to transformation with self-designed ceremonies and rituals.*
*I will be using ceremony and ritual interchangeably in this post because their structure is essentially the same. For more information about the difference of intent for each, refer to last week’s post to determine which is best for your context.
Self designed ceremonies are just as they sound: moments of observance using symbolic actions that you create for yourself. They can be profoundly simple or grand; it depends on what you need in order to honor the threshold you currently stand at.
I believe self-designed ceremonies are critical for an authentic integration of your psycho-spiritual development. They can be mighty containers for you to witness your own evolution in a way that deeply honors your intuition and unique relationship with Spirit. Self-designed ceremonies affirm that you are your own healer, and your Soul is the most authentic guide that you will ever encounter.
Elder Malidoma Patrice Somé says in his book Ritual: Power, Healing and Community, “Where ritual is absent, the young ones are restless or violent, there are no real elders, and the grown-ups are bewildered. The future is dim.” As Somé indicates, not only are ceremony and ritual practices vital for our personal psychological and spiritual health, they’re vital for our collective and planetary wellbeing too.
When I first started working with ceremonies and rituals, I was terrified of doing it wrong. I had a lot of ‘good girl’ programming to work through and I was afraid that I would anger Spirit and be punished for it. In my experience, Spirit delights in every attempt you make to touch it. You cannot do this wrong.
And sometimes it’s helpful to have a loose structure to use as guidance if you are new to designing your own rituals or ceremonies.
This structure is an adaptation derived from many teachers of this practice. It’s what I’ve found to be the most consistent and vital aspects of my own personal ritual practice over the last seven years. I send massive heart waves of gratitude to all of the teachers that helped me find my way through this, most notably Malidoma Patrice Somé, Bill Plotkin, Karen Jaenke and Lauren Walsh.
As with all things, take what feels useful and leave the rest. You cannot do this wrong.
The Structure
Preparation: This may involve setting up a specific space or gathering materials and objects that will be used in the ritual. Allow your intuition to guide you here. As you ponder your ritual, perhaps you find yourself drawn to certain objects or materials. Go with it.
Opening and Invocation: The ritual may begin with the invocation of a deity, spirit, or other entity that you believe will support you the best through your practice. It could be a spiritual being, an archetypal energy or even your healed and well ancestors. As Somé says, “to be in a [ritual] without invoking the spirits means that you are on your own.” The Universe conspires for you to be in communion with it. Call upon your helpers and they will come.
Symbolic actions: The ritual may involve symbolic actions such as lighting candles, burning incense, chanting, or making offerings. Your intuition is your friend here.
Recitation: We enter into a dialogue with Spirit and ourselves. This is when we allow our longing to speak through us as it charges the ritual space with the Universal Intelligence that animates all things. You may say a prayer or speak freely from your soul. You may even dance your prayer; this dialogue doesn’t require words. Just be honest, genuine and true and you cannot go wrong.
Transmutation: A transformation of energy occurs through some kind of action. It could be meditation, visualization, dancing, swaying, chanting, crying, burning objects or burying them, washing yourself with ritual water. Really the transmutation action can be anything feels like it might support you to officially ‘cross the threshold.’ To help you get from the person you were before the ritual, to the person you will be after.
Closing: When you feel the transmutation is complete, you can close in anyway that feels natural to you. One thing that is always recommended is to give gratitude to the spirits that you invited into your ritual space and to send them on their way.
Giving ourselves permission to be seen
This ritual format works for both independent and group work. Transformative ritual experiences absolutely happen while in your own container with just the support of your spirit helpers. And, the beauty of doing rituals in groups is that each additional person’s compassionate awareness supercharges the the transmutation process. This is what many people experience when a circle experience leaves them feeling powerfully rejuvenated.
You may choose to do solo or group rituals depending on your context. Sometimes the other members in the group will do the ritual with you, and sometimes they will simply witness and hold space for you to go through your own process. Let your intuition tell you what you need, and give yourself permission to ask for it.
Last week I shared that I created a ritual for forgiveness and letting go of past relationships. I thought it was something I needed to do on my own, until I got into my ritual space and realized that what I was longing for was a blanket of women to witness me in my ritual for support. So I ended the ritual without completing it and called upon my sisters to arrange a time we could gather. And that is perfectly okay for you to do too.
Next week I am going to go deeper into community rituals and being in sacred ceremonial spaces. There is a lot that happens energetically in rituals, and it gets exponentially more complex, beautiful and magnetic when others are involved. That also means that as participants in ritual spaces, we have a responsibility to show up in way that honors this dance. In next week’s post I’ll go over some common circle agreements that I ask participants of my group rituals to agree to as a way of tending to our collective energy and leadership.
If you do try this ritual structure for your self-designed ceremonies this week, I hope you’ll reach out and let me know how it goes! I would love to hear from you.
May this post and all subsequent ceremonies benefit all beings everywhere.
Soulful blessings,
Emily
P.S. If you are local to Sacramento, be on the lookout for a new monthly gathering I will be launching soon!
P.P.S. And as always, if you are interested in having support through your threshold experiences, don’t hesitate to reach out for 1:1 coaching support.