A little more than two weeks ago I launched an offering that I believe will be core to my body of work, and it was beautiful and marvelous. And I took a couple weeks off of “creator mode” to allow the completion of this project to settle. To integrate. To rejuvenate.
I started a new novel series that I have been putting off because I could sense that it would be a series I could easily indulge in, and I didn’t want the distraction while I was in creator mode. I’m glad I listened to this knowing, because I was right.
I devoured three novels and 1400 pages in 15 days. I have not been gripped by something like this since I was a teenager reading Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging.
It was really wild to witness myself as I indulged in these novels. To watch as I forgot my phone and all it’s notifications, left the TV off, chose to read on my breaks instead of scroll, and spend hours a day in quiet silence on my blanket in the park or on my couch, completely absorbed in these stories.
At times, I was almost worried for myself. Was this level of indulgence healthy? Is this addictive behavior? Should I do something to stop this?
But I didn’t. I let myself love what I loved, to desire what I desired, to meet my owns needs for mythic, imaginative restoration. To fall in love with fictional characters, to imagine every scene to its fullest, to be committed to the plot.
And it broke my heart open in such an unexpected way, I cannot help but believe that these novels acted as a sort of guardian angel for me at a time that I needed them.
I finished the third book in the series on Monday. While I’ve been sinking into these stories, I have also been musing about how expanding and inspiring the author is to me. I know nothing about her story, except that she created this work of art that has so moved me.
I kept finding myself asking, how did she do this? How did she develop the stamina to stay with this story long enough to get it on paper? What is her mind and imagination like if she can develop such rich characters with complex and interconnecting histories? How did she map this all out? And how was she able to actually make it all tangible, so it could be here in my hands, having such an impact on me?
This, combined with some lovely conversations I’ve been having with my young colleagues behind the barista bar, has had me musing on purpose for the last several weeks.
What is purpose?
I have been intentionally asking myself about Purpose for six years, and the process of asking these questions has created a beautiful life for me. It’s a topic I could write a whole book about. But for now, let’s go with this.
There are generally two camps of people with differing beliefs about the meaning of life:
Life is nothing but a serious of chaotic consequences and random electrical impulses and everything is insignificant; or
Everything has meaning. Life is a living, breathing entity itself and the Universe and all it’s inhabitants exists for a reason.
I’m sure you can guess which camp I sit with.
A core assumption and belief of mine is that humanity is at the edge of a great cosmological story of becoming. We’ve been on an evolutionary path for nearly 14 billion years and we carry this story of the Cosmos in our cells and marrow.
If you want to learn more about this cosmology, I suggest watching:
Not only are we at the edge of a great story, but we also have the unique opportunity (and dare I say responsibility) to become conscious co-authors of this story. We are life that has evolved to be aware of itself. How cool is that?!
With this awareness, we can tap into our unique place in this unfolding story. That is what I refer to as Purpose. We can discover, or maybe even remember, our essential contribution to Evolution’s Purpose, which is to create the conditions where life can thrive and continue.
A core aspect of the work I do is help people get in touch with their place in our cosmological story, and how they can consciously participate in evolution’s unfolding in wholesome and generative ways.
How do I know what my purpose is?
There was a time in my life where I believed that I needed to know my purpose in order to live it consciously. That I had to have a ‘purpose statement’ in order to have purpose. That it needed to be posted on a plaque in my office and eloquently written in my LinkedIn bio.
This was well intentioned. I wanted to know my purpose so I wouldn’t waste time not living it.
Until I discovered a Rilke quote that changed the way I viewed this pursuit of purpose.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
Ranier Maira Rilke
When it comes to purpose, it’s tempting to crave a phrase that you can use to consciously align your life to.
And, what I’ve discovered after many years of searching for purpose and several iterations of a purpose statement, that simply asking the questions and following my impulses for joy have led me to some beautiful, effervescent experiences infused with meaning. Asking the questions gave me the opportunity to live into the answers.
That’s not to say that following a deductive, inquiry based approach to purpose discovery is useless. I actually think it’s a vital part of the purpose discovery process.
I also think that there comes a time when something happens in our life that demands us to really evaluate how true these words mean to us at a cellular level.
At that point, purpose discovery is no longer about awareness that I have a purpose or what my purpose is, but how does it show up in my body, my actions, the outcomes I create?
I talked about this in the podcast I recorded with Jen a few weeks ago, which you can listen to here.
What I’m saying here is that we can take a two-pronged approach to purpose discovery and embodiment:
The top-down approach. In this context, we reflect on our past experiences and deduce based on the life we have already lived to discover patterns and themes that hint at our purpose.
The bottom-up approach. In this context, we pay attention to our direct experience of our life through our body: our sensations and energy. We notice in real time whether our bodies and energy are increased, expanded and improved by the activities we are participating in, and using the direct experience of aliveness as a compass for purpose.
Both are important.
This week, we are going to talk about the top-down approach, and next week we will touch on the bottom-up approach.
Asking the questions and reflecting on the answers: a top-down approach to purpose discovery
Top-down processing is psychology jargon. In the context of purpose discovery, it essentially means that we use our existing knowledge, experiences, and expectations to process incoming stimulus, which in this case is the question: what is my purpose?
Essentially, it’s about taking stock of what we already know about our purpose, laying it all out in front of us in one place, and determine what themes or patterns arise.
Let’s make this very practical and useful for you with an exercise from the Conscious Leadership Group called “The Best Stuff.”
In this exercise you will identify and then describe five specific accomplishments or experiences across your entire life that you:
Enjoyed doing (it was fun and satisfying)
Believe you did well (you provided high quality)
These may be related to work, home, leisure, projects, or relationships.
To keep in mind:
Focus on the highlights in your life, regardless of when they occurred. Perhaps all your memorable experiences occurred before you were twenty years old, or after you were married. You don’t need to spread them out.
Identify what was important to you, not what other people might think was important.
Relate specific achievement experiences, not general ones.
Write a short summary statement about each of the eight achievements or experiences:
How did you get involved?
Elaborate on what you actually did.
What was particularly enjoyable, fulfilling, or satisfying?
What skills, abilities or talents did you use?
Look at your notes.
Do you see any common threads? (i.e., being in the public eye, adventure, diversity, newness, enduring relationships, leadership, risk taking, troubleshooting, giving, selling or motivating, seeing other people grow from your mentoring, addressing a tough task you addressed and conquered, creative acts, altruism)
From these common threads, make a first pass at naming what you believe are your gifts. (i.e., inspiration, leadership, dealing with the power brokers of the world, serving the downtrodden, intuition, relationship building, intensity, ability to focus, decision-making, conflict resolution, planting seeds, nurturing small plants, harvesting the crop).
You may also consider sharing your five experiences with a coach or your support group and asking for their reflection on the themes they hear.
This very exercise was the first exercise I did with a coach six years ago when I began to ask myself about Purpose and it changed my life. I still do it regularly as a way to stay aware of what matters to me in this life.
If you do this exercise, I’d love for you to comment with some of the themes you discovered for yourself!
Up next
I have a feeling this series is going to go on for a couple of weeks because I have a lot to say about Purpose, so make sure you check back next week where we will take a different approach to purpose discovery that includes using your body wisdom.
May we all discover and embody our soul purpose, and may it serve all beings everywhere.
Soulful blessings,
Emily
P.S. Purpose coaching is one of my all-time joys. If you are interested in receiving some support in your purpose discovery and embodiment journey, book a free consultation call below and we can talk about options.